Friday, April 10, 2009

Hang-On, Man!

And then I entered those fatal doors, behind which the answer to 4 years of toil I seek, behind which the answer to those bootless ambitions I assay to fulfill stagnate, behind which god hands over to all those worthy(no bag, no pen, no books is as close as you can get), a free pass into the wonderful phantasmagorical world(Zzz...).
With the endless lectures trying to tame the unruly mind, yet another day in the lives and times of THE jetty seemingly passes by, dull and boring as ever(NOT)...he comes in, she goes out, chit chat chitter chatter, relentlessly trying to drain every drop of awesomeness in me(As arun put it, just a drop in the ocean, but still...).

"I can't stand this anymore, I'm off to the gaanv"
"Wait!"
"You have one chance. It better be good. Shoot!"
"I've just two words for you, Hang-On"
"Hang-On?"
And HE walks in(huff...sad, sad life we guys have),
whispers "Just wait and watch. You'll not regret it, I assure you"
So,I decided to hang on. After all, it can't get worse than that bald headed female one, can it?
It seemed a mammoth task to lift up that heavy glob(a bit heavier?!) of grey matter from its sacred spot...Nevertheless, he's at least worth a glance, I thought.
'For once, just for once, big one...and then, you'll get back your rightful bed'
I saw, I heard and I just kept watching...
Eyes glued; his entrance into the class was contrasting indeed.
The class suddenly roused, every backbencher back on his knees...for this guy? Wha the fha?!
Tilting forward, exposing his awkward ample posterior(It can't get worse than this, I assure you), he said,

"Hang On,Man! Hang On...Wass goin on?"(Litta basters...you stole a prof's line, Goddamnit!)

Who's this guy? Why the accent? Does he teach here? Yes! he has been entertaining the crowd for quite sometime apparently. Everything he was and did, right from his dressing style to putting on a fake you-know-wha accent was stuff of legend. The class tried hard(really really hard) to stop giggling at his slips, but in vain. Fretting and fuming, he yelled,

"You think I'm phool? I did a project under NASA(whoa!) in the university of Transylvania"
Huh! Who wouldn't get a job in the land of the draculas? U# *rs!

They say, its better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. But, he blabbered on...

"Upto fun, there is a limit. Beyond that, there is a limit"
Sir! Would you care to explain that...(No! I didn't have the guts to ask him)

"If you are an IITian, then proud it! Don't you prouding any ethics?teacher-student.See, don't expose yourself in front of your colleagues, I can't understand!"
Ethics...name one, lame one! and FYI, we are straight, Sir.

I kept quiet; We all kept quiet...
"Now, Check it out, this!... The cementricity(guess what?) of the parabola is constant and denoted by 'c'.Whatever values it has, it doesn't care."
From when did constants care about their values?...probably in transylvania, you never know!

From amidst the abrupt silences springs up our lesser know hero, a surd, who burst onto an irrepressible round of laughter. A few questions later, he continued laughing(talk of bravery). And then, our MAN spoke those legendary words; those that few know but many wonder about,

"Making mistake and lhaffing?! This is the greatest eggjample of fooolisssness..."

And thus came the concept of relative foolishness. We have a base for judgement now(any takers?).He blabbered on...

"I've particularly noticed this with You kinda guys."
He shot straight; accentuation his self defence(used by a lot of profs, if you've noticed)
Blondes are dumb, Indians are cheap, but this...?!

Just when we thought that hearsays will remain hearsays, the surd retorts,
"A lot of funny comments going on here, Sir. And they are funny."

You just proved us wrong, surdy(no offence).The class went haywire...right from the quintessential ghissus(kondy needs no mention) to the ones sleeping cosily at the back, everyone guffawed. HE laughed too(surprisingly). A few lighter moments later, he blabbered(not again!) on...
"Adjust those guys..."
"In the exam, somebody is playing with the parameters..."
"Me too is busy. bye..."

Every sentence, every word, every letter(now, that's an exaggeration) he spoke was classy!
We left, silently contemplating about every word he said, trying to make sense of the inapprehendable. Whilst we left behind those fatal doors, I noticed a rage in the surd's eyes...silently waiting for everyone to pass by to have his moment of truth with our MAN.

Days later, I managed to get hold of the surd. I enquired about what had happened the other day, that very day when our MAN crossed his limits. All my wingmates maintained perfect silence; awaiting his grotesque tales. And the surd replied, in his deep furtive voice,
"I went to his room all puffed up. But, he just...he just blabbered on..."

P.S.-All classy dialogues are true to the best of my knowledge.
P.P.S.- 1 hour of power-packed entertainment and (a teeny weeny bit of) info, side by side. Now, who's with me?
P.P.P.S.- And finally, our MAN has remained in the dark for too long now. The name is Harsha, S.P.Harha. I envy every mech guy for having the chance to see him daily. Laughter is supposed to extend your life span and in that perspective, he just turned out to be a life saver...preposterous, isn't it?